Dad, Are You In There? (Part 1)

by Patti Holm 

"Do you want to go for a ride Dad?"  He says "sure, we'll go wherever you'd like to go."  Dad doesn't drive anymore, except in his mind.  "I'll drive today, Dad."  He asks me where we are going.  I tell him that we're going to his favorite fishing spot on the lake.  He then tells me that he doesn't want to go there, and when I ask him why, he tells me that it's not the same, and that there's nothing there anymore.  I decide to take him back to his nice apartment in the senior living complex.  When we get inside, he asks me when we're going for a ride.  I just wanted to shake him and say, "Dad, are you in there?"  I know doing that would not be very helpful since we do this every time we get together whether it's for a shopping trip, doctor's appointment or just to go for a ride to get ice cream or a coffee.  I usually just change the subject, and talk about old times.  It's a thing I call "going down memory lane."  We sometimes look at old pictures or work on a puzzle.  He likes to take a snooze while I do the puzzle!  I also take the opportunity to clean, put out his clothes for the next day, pack up the laundry to do at home.  By now, it almost time for dinner.  I usually pre-make meals for him to take out of the refrigerator or freezer, but he usually forgets if he is alone, so if I do it for him, he'll have something nourishing.  I put out his medicine with little notes so he'll see it.  The next day, we start the same process all over again.  "Dad, are you in there?"