Care To Ask

Summer is in full swing and that means that wedding season is here. This month’s Care to Ask comes from a caregiver who would like to travel to his niece’s wedding but is concerned about who will care for his mother while he is away.

Remember if you have caregiving questions email them to CareToAskCMAA@gmail.com.

Q. My Niece in California, who is also my godchild, is getting married in September. Since my brother’s passing, she has looked to me as her dad, and has asked me to walk her down the aisle. I really do want to do this, but my Mom lives with us. Mom is homebound, and cannot make the trip. What kind of help is available so that my wife and I can go to Cali, and yet still be sure my Mom is safe and cared for?

A. The service that can best meet your needs in this situation is called respite. Respite can best be described as a short term service that provides care to an individual when the caregiver is not available. This service can be provided in a number of settings including in home, out of home or a combination of both.

Using in home services means that your mother can stay in the comfort of her own home. Depending on the level of care your mother needs you can arrange for someone to stay with her 24/7 or during certain times of the day. If your mother needs help showering, being put to bed and/or staying overnight and individual could be hired to come for only those times of the day.

Out of home services can be provided in facilities such as nursing homes or assisted living residences, or in a community based day program. Respite in a facility is for overnight stays and is usually provided on a space available basis. The facility may also have minimum or maximum length of stay requirements.

Day programs include Adult Day Health and Social Day programs. An assessment will be done to determine the appropriate program. Your mother would be transported to the program in the morning and return home later in the day, usually late afternoon. In home services can be used for the night, overnight and weekend hours.

Depending on the level of care your mother needs and the amount of time the service will be utilized respite may be costly. Respite services are usually on a private pay basis unless your mother is fortunate enough to have long term care insurance that covers this service. There may be assistance in paying for a portion of these services through your local Family Caregiver Support program, which in Massachusetts is a program of the local Aging Service Access Point (ASAP).

If you live in Massachusetts, you can find the appropriate service agency by going to www.800ageinfo.com.

For those individuals that live outside of Massachusetts you can find local resources by using Elder Care Locator at www.eldercare.gov or call 1-800-677-1116.

If possible, you should begin researching options and putting a plan in place as soon as possible. It is also important to have a conversation with your mother about your plans, the services that you have arranged so that she will be safe and well cared for while you are away. If appropriate it is always good to have your mother participate in the planning to the best of her ability. By planning in advance, you may be able to arrange for you and your mother to meet anyone that will be providing in home services and/or to visit any out of home programs that she will be participating in.

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